Journey through the fog to reality
This is a journal entry from May 2001:
I felt shock and denial when they said "I'm sorry your baby is dead". But that was nearly 7 months ago now. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, sometimes it seems long ago. I still go through denial, not denial of what has happened but denial of my feelings and dates I have to face.
Like Mothers Day which is this Sunday and I guess I gave tried to pretend it is ages away and not want to face it.But it is only 3 days away and I don't know how I will go. Will I handle it? Will I be ok? Will I have the strength to go to church? I don't know?
( I did end up getting through the day and I did go to church and I probably shouldn't have as I just bawled my eyes out and felt so terrible but thankfully I had a friend supporting me. Mothers Day was such a horrible day for me until I had my second son Jack, it was like a stabbing in my heart.)
I felt shock and denial when they said "I'm sorry your baby is dead". But that was nearly 7 months ago now. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, sometimes it seems long ago. I still go through denial, not denial of what has happened but denial of my feelings and dates I have to face.
Like Mothers Day which is this Sunday and I guess I gave tried to pretend it is ages away and not want to face it.But it is only 3 days away and I don't know how I will go. Will I handle it? Will I be ok? Will I have the strength to go to church? I don't know?
( I did end up getting through the day and I did go to church and I probably shouldn't have as I just bawled my eyes out and felt so terrible but thankfully I had a friend supporting me. Mothers Day was such a horrible day for me until I had my second son Jack, it was like a stabbing in my heart.)
posted by Nique at 3:40 AM
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