Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Truth of Denial?

Written in 2001:

Sometimes when I hold my cousin's baby Rachel, I wish that she was mine and sometimes I imagine that she is mine. I love looking after her but I hate having to give her back as it makes me so sad.

So many people I know seem to be getting pregnant at the moment. I thought I was pregnant last week and I was really disappointed that I wasn't. Then one of my friends told me she was pregnant today and I felt really jealous because I wished it was me.

I never realised how much I wanted to be a mum until I had William, so now I really want more children.I know now isn't the right time to have another baby physically or emotionally and having another baby will not replace William or make everything better.I just really want to have more babies.

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